17 March 2008

Norfolk Unity's tour of la-la land

A whistlestop tour of some of Nazi la-la land's forums and websites today, starting with the least significant of them all.

The One Big Vast Huge Onion

Patrick Harrington, general secretary of the One Big Vast Huge Onion, Solidarity, has joined up with the Green Bigot's forum, putting the membership of the Green Bigot not very far behind that of the hijacked One Big Vast Huge Onion itself.

Posting as Completelyblank, an entirely appropriate name, the Great Fantasist got himself in a tiz about our report on the fantastic progress of the One Big Vast Huge Onion, which put on an amazing 111 members out of a potential (alleged - they're liars, remember?) 10,000 from the BNP in the last year alone.

This puts the One Big Vast Huge Onion on a par with the membership of the Hemsby and Winterton branch of the Amalgamated National Union of Beetroot Scrapers, Clock Winders and Toe-nail Removal Engineers (meetings Thursday nights in the shed behind the barber's shop). Or to put it another way, more people will visit Enver's Turkish Kebab House in Gorleston High Street in the next thirty minutes and ask for a bowl of pickled corn flakes with rasberry flavoured Angel Delight topping than have joined the Great Fantasist's play union in a year.

But the Fantasist never says die - not when there's the question of £60 a year in subs due from dupes who join the One Big Vast Huge Onion, who get told to clear off and seek legal advice somewhere else because the One Big Vast Huge Onion is even more useless than a bucket with a hole in the bottom. The Fantasist reckons 500 members by the end of the year is a realistic target - but we've been seeing Harrington's "realistic targets" for years, and we reckon that by the time the One Big Vast Huge Onion signs up its 500th victim the Sun will have become a Red Giant and life on Earth will have ceased.

With the services of the massively successful Accentuate PR company (the one with the Yahoo webmail address) working tirelessly on the One Big Vast Huge Onion's behalf you'd have thought that they'd have secured the Great Fantasist a page of refutation in the Times at least, if not ten minutes with Paxo on Newsnight.

Instead the Fantasist ended up whining on the Green Bigot's free speech forums (the ones where you get kicked off if you don't say "Jack Black" while sticking pins in a voodoo doll). Joining the not so comradely comrades, he posted acres of dribble that twists this way and that and never comes close to the truth or ever gets anywhere near answering the points we made.

"Atreus shows his grasp of arithmetic by multiplying the monthly membership subscriptions by twelve," he whinges.

Erm, yes, guilty. £60 per year x 210 members and a BNP leader comes out at £12660 whichever way you shake it - maybe not in right wing loopy land though, but right wing loopy land is a tad notorious for dodgy accounting practices. Anybody reckon the excuses are being cooked up early...?

Anyway, the Accentuate PR company presumably staying in bed for the day and the One Big Vast Huge Onion's general secretary having an important declaration to make, the Great Fantasist decided his post was worthy of a greater audience than the Bigot, Brighton Dross and sock puppet Sarah, and begged the Bigot to put the post up on his blog - required reading for anybody in need of a good laugh.

The Bigot obliged and the Fantasist can spend the next six months reading himself 60 times a day, while the Bigot can go about saying he knows somebody really really important who knows Nick Griffin, doncherknow boyo.

I wonder if Sailor Bigot and Bosun Rock, who spend a lot of time supporting the One Big Vast Huge Onion (or say they do) have ever actually joined it? Nah, not if their BNP records are anything to go by. The Rock was so afraid of a few "poofters" in Brighton that he made his excuses and left Sid Williamson to get in the way of a soft drink can being disposed of by a Pride marcher, so we don't see him joining the picket lines anytime soon.

Back to the Fantasist. He ends his declaration: "As Solidarity members they have the strength of a militant fighting union behind them. 'Together we are strong' is not an empty phrase dreamed up by Norfolk Unity's supposed 'Great Fantasist'. It's a plain fact."

Yeah, okay - we fell of our chairs, too.

Here's a few quotes direct from the One Big Huge Vast Onion's website ((c) P. Harrington - why?):

The kind of activities that Solidarity are involved in include the following:

Picket Protesting
Campaigns against companies that off-shore a large percentage of call centre jobs abroad as well as organisations that that employ large numbers iof cheap foreign workers.

Pressure Local Councils

Lobby MP's

Pensions Crisis
Through the use of Posters / Leaflets and Flyers we shall highlight the risks that workers face due to the reduction of a decent pension scheme, particularly postal workers

Helping Members Secure Work
We shall aggressively demonstrate around the country against companies that don't employ native workers, or who replace them with cheap imported labour

The truth is, the One Big Huge Vast Onion has been involved in none of these things. It's a plain fact.

Nut loses to Nutzis

As we've been reporting elswhere, Stormfront Britain was lost to the Griffinistas over the weekend after Medway Madman, BNP legal lunatic and former concrete mixer Lee Barnes short-circuited and began revealing the identities of anti-Griffin Stormfront posters on his pop-eyed blog.

Moderators from other parts of Stormfront came in to evict Barmy Barnes's supporters and sidelined Griffinite moderator John Joy Tree (Andy Robertson), infamous on Stormfront for pulling anti-Griffin threads and deleting posts. It turned out that all along JJT wasn't actually a Stormfront Britain moderator, but a moderator who "happens to live in Britain" according to SF Chief of Staff Jack Boot, who turned up to kick backsides.

Herr Boot listened to the gripes levelled against JJT - like allegations of passing info on anti-Griffin SF-ers to the BNP - and promoted time-served racist Number Five to moderator status on SFB. So it was steins of Lowenbrau all round for the Herrenvolk, followed by a rousing chorus of the Horst Wessel and three Sieg Heils.

But there are still a couple of rats in the Nazi pack, notably overweight chav, professional doley and soft drink avoidance expert Sid Williamson. Sid, known for his admiration of gay people and the amount of time he spends on lesbian dating sites, innocently professes neutrality in the pro-Griffin / anti-Griffin furore but always seems to kick the ball for Griffin when nobody's looking.

Having left the miniscule British People's Party (deceased spiritual leader: John Tyndall - not Nick Griffin's closest pal) for the BNP and then quickly performing a never explained about turn, a lot of questions hang over Sid - such as, did he return to the BPP on Griffin's orders...?

Sid's another moderator (or ex-moderator in his case) accused of passing on posters' info to the BNP, this time from the dog eat dog Vanguard News Network forums - probably the nastiest place in cyberspace. People just can't make their minds up about Sid. State, or not State. Griffin, or not Griffin? Maybe Searchlight?

It'll all come out in the wash.

Norfolk Unity visitors may not be acquainted with the one man pub crawl that is Sid Williamson, so here's a little taster: "Feeling better now Barker? Well don't get flippant will you? Because one day there will be a knock on your door, and when you open it I'll be stood there. would have done this ages ago had you not lived so far away. Just know that I will come and see you one day. And it won't be the best ****ing day you ever had, I promise."

They're just one big happy family on the Vanguard News Network.

BPP encouraged by 20% fall in membership

The British People's Party, headed up by Eddy Morrison (when sober) and probable flag of convenience for Sid Williamson, is claiming a membership renewal rate of 80%, apparently a record high. In a gushing orgy of self-congratulation the BPP's website hearks back to the glory days of the 1970's National Front, opining: "...the figures for the NF circa 1967 to 1979 speak for themselves. It is reliably estimated that although over 67,000 White men and women passed through the ranks of the National Front in this period - the NF total membership at any one time was between 12,000 and 15,000 (1977 -1979)."

The BPP obviously wants to associate itself with those sort of figures, but notes that renewal rates in the old NF were of the 30-40% order.

Not so the super-successful BPP with its splendid 80%: "So the BPP seems to breaking the mold in its high renewal rates."

Now maybe the BPP has the same problem with maths as the One Big Huge Vast Onion, but by our reckoning the BPP has just admitted to losing 20% of its membership.

And assuming the BPP is telling the truth, losing 20% of not very much at all leaves even less.

Just another day in la-la land, folks!


Anonymous said...

Great humour here NU and bloody good original articles. This blog's a must.


Anonymous said...

Great quote from Patrick Harrington:

"We are ideologically sympathetic to the position of Col Gaddafi” (Sunday Telegraph, 10 April 1988), in JPRS, Terrorism (26 May 1988), p. 34.

Prisoner of Zenda said...

The comedy writes itself. A really good blog.

Julie said...

La la land is right. Do these idiots think they're going to form a government?


Anonymous said...

Great comparison with the Solidarity Union as One Big Onion!

Maybe that is why its members tend to cry and whinge?

And like an onion each time you peel it and ythink you've found what it's really like, there is another layer of deception and cynicism, more skillduggery, more illegal and unethical activity, more scandal, more cheap hype...

Still, at least we can be satisfied that the Fantasist's Big Plan to take over trade unionism in this country will come to nought, its membership hardly progressing beyond the 200 mark and its deluded doolally leader resorting to ever-more widely exaggerated claims of nonsense and hyperbole.

Makes you wanna cry...